OUR STORY
Dear Fellow Traveler,
I first traveled to Italy in the summer of 1995. At the time, I was a model and dancer for a fitness company in Utah, and I had the opportunity to travel for work. My dance squad toured Milan and Rimini for a week, and it was the first time I'd truly felt alive and connected in a way I had never been before. In Italy, I was reborn. When the other dancers began to return to Salt Lake City, I decided to stay behind and travel by myself. For two weeks, I explored Venice, Rome, and Florence, trying the food, seeing the sights, and forming deep friendships that I still maintain today. I fell more and more in love with the culture and the people.
The following summer I returned and did it all again. This time, I felt like an Italian, even being reprimanded by La Polizia who believed I was an Italian pretending to be American. “Forbina,” he said, pointing to his eye and scolding me as he allowed me to catch up with the other American girls. This experience was not foreboding, rather it was clarifying to me. The more I realized that my true nature and spirit resonated with the people and culture of the Italians, I began to understand that Italy accepted me and wished to bring me home. It became the place that would fill the time and space in my every daydream. I cherished these happy and vivid memories deeply in my heart.
I decided in the summer of ‘97, to make arrangements with my friends in Italy to move there for three months to attend school and study Italian. However, as perfect as Italy was for me, I was not ready for what it had to offer me. After extending my stay for another three months, and with my savings gone, I realized I needed to leave Italy until I could move there long term.
I would return many times over a span of ten years— twice with my husband, once with my two kids, and several times by myself as my career in opera grew— and each visit would renew and multiply my love for this place, this home. Each time I returned to the U.S., I longed for Italy, wishing I were there.
The daydreaming continued, and I found myself seeking out Italy in my day-to-day life: the bitter, citrus scent of bergamot perfume transported me to the Amalfi Coast, walking along the cliffs and inhaling the salty air; the rich taste of sfogliatelle pastry filled with pistachio creme took me to my time in Naples gazing in awe at the frescoes adorning the Duomo di San Gennaro; the supple warmth of my leather driving gloves brought me back to the streets of Florence, zipping through the city on the back of a Vespa; the toll of church bells returned me to Siena where, throughout the day, I heard the bells of the local churches ringing with a proper tune, a little melody, that seemed to be different for each church. Away from Italy, It felt as if I was missing a piece of myself.
That is when I started questioning: How can someone feel so connected to a place and not have an explanation? I have no Italian heritage. I have no reason to be as in love with Italy as I am, yet I carry that place with me every day. I started looking through photos of me in Italy, and a few other places where I feel especially glorious (including, Paris, France; Ronda & Granada, Spain.) I am not an official aura reader, but if you see my photos, I am glowing! As a former make-up artist, I can make a face glisten; but I cannot alter the aura of a soul.
Still curious, I asked friends if they have a similar feeling for a “place,” a place they feel they belong. Many have also felt a connection to a place they visited. I am not the only one with this yearning, this inexplicable desire to live and breathe within a place that truly connects with my soul.
On the flip side, I have been to places that feel dead-- places with no zest and no life. At times, I have even felt depressed there. When I visit one of these less favorable locations, sometimes I think: “If I lived here, I would drink myself to death.” I do believe places have energy, like people and objects— both positive and negative. I seek those things that bring positive and uplifting energy. The more I travel and open myself to the world, the more I realize the uniqueness of my place, and it is the same for each of us. I ask the question many of us have in our hearts, “Where do I belong?”
If you've found yourself at Xentiense, you're probably like me— a wanderer, a traveler, an artist— a person with curiosities who longs for the world around you. Xentiense is for people like us. Like you. We have a want, a need, a curiosity, an innate desire to Xplore and Xperience the rich histories and cultures of the places that resonate with us and those places we seek to know. I wanted to give us a space to do just that. And so, Xentiense was born.
Love,
Joy